I remember when Steven was first diagnosed ADHD and I chose a natural route instead of narcotics, the pediatrician told me our natural options might seem to be working because it was giving him additional attention. This mom thought if my son needed extra attention, shouldn't that be the course we choose ---- not controlled narcotics. I do believe the additional parenting skills we aquired along with the nutrition & removal of junky foods & toxic chemicals, all contributed to our success in raising him without the controlled substances. I think this article from Lou has some great insight for both children & adults. Let me know what you think?
To Your Health,
Lisa
Winner's Circle Network with Lou Tice - 7/29/10 - "Needing & Wanting Attention"
When your younger children crave attention, do they throw a tantrum, misbehave or act out inappropriately? If so, maybe you can show them a better way.
You know, children want many things that they don't usually ask for directly. In that way, they're no different from adults. Two things in particular that we all seem to need, but seldom come right out and ask for, are recognition and affection.
Now, kids who get plenty of each from the start usually grow up to be happy, well adjusted, confident, and well behaved. Kids who don't get much of either, though, will get very creative. They may try throwing tantrums, and if this succeeds in creating the attention they need, they may grow up believing that when you don't get what you want, becoming very angry will do the trick. You have probably seen examples of this while driving.
Many children misbehave to get attention - not consciously, as a rule, but they do it nevertheless, because even negative attention is better than no attention. If neither tantrums nor acting out works, they may eventually stop trying at all, becoming withdrawn, listless and apathetic.
The thing to do, then, if you want to eliminate these problems or avoid them in the first place, is to give your kids plenty of attention and affection when they are behaving well.
Let them know that it's OK to ask for what you want. It's OK to ask for a hug or to say, "Please pay attention to me for a few minutes." When they do ask, take time to give it to them. You'll be avoiding many future problems - not only for your kids, but also for you.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
http://www.thepacificinstitute.com/
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